You have sent out your invitations some time ago and now you want to rescind an invite. A wedding is a major life event so, by rescinding the invitation it sends a clear message that there are issues and that the future of your friendship is in doubt. Think long and hard and talk to your partner about the consequences and whether you are prepared to live with them.
Rescinding an invitation is considered poor form so, if you can handle them attending your wedding and can get out of difficult conversations with them, stick to your existing invitation. An option could be that you enlist a friend to help if the situation arises.
Know what qualifies as a reason to rescind —and what doesn’t.
Let’s see a major falling out, potentially family (or extended family) members who suddenly become vocal in their negative views about same-sex marriage or a guest being involved in a serious crime would qualify. If you created an overzealous guest list then realise once you have booked the venue you don’t have enough seats or it’s out of your budget, is not only embarrassing but a discussion you probably won’t envy with the guest. Create an A List and a B List to assist in guest management.
Be Ready for the Fallout.
Along with initial confusion the friend may become disgruntled or unhappy. That it may affect your friendship in the future and to what extent is something you need to consider. They may feel as though they are not good enough for your wedding then perhaps they aren’t good enough for your list. It’s harsh but it needs consideration.
In today’s world the friend may angrily post their response and it could unfold on your facebook feed. As we are all connected like dominos your friends may be watching and l’m sure everyone will be calling out a ‘WTF?’ question. Be prepared to disconnect and perhaps explain to others who know them that what happened. The question still remains… is it worth uninviting them?
Create a face-to-face meeting.
Words can often be misinterpreted so, we advise you meet in person and that way it gives you a chance to answer any questions the guest may have and calm the potential fire storm. You could say something like… due to the current state of your relationship, you believe it will be best for both of you if they don’t attend. Avoid going into to many details and finally stick to your decision. Once you start to waver the water gets murky.
Don’t delay the ‘uninviting’.
Weddings may incur costs associated with wedding gifts, accommodation and travel so it’s best to advise the guest promptly, so they don’t spend money unnecessarily. They may also take time off from their workplace and perhaps plan a holiday around a destination wedding so do take that into account when you tell them.
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